.png)
Date Everything! Review
- Eloise Crawford
- Jun 12
- 4 min read
A dating simulator unlike any I have ever seen, Date Everything! brings any dreams you have about dating inanimate objects to life.
Set within your own home, Date Everything! allows you to date over 100 objects and concepts with the help of a pair of aviators cleverly dubbed Dateviators. Equal parts absurd, unhinged, hilarious, and somewhat touching, Date Everything! delivers a unique experience that you won’t want to miss.
Publisher: Team17 Developer: Sassy Chap Games Platform: Played on PC (Steam) Availability: Releases on June 17, 2025 for Xbox X/S, PS5, Nintendo Switch, and Windows PC. |
The story begins with your new job being made redundant with the introduction of AI, a reality many in the workforce face today. You receive a package delivered by drone straight to your front door. Upon opening the package, you discover you have been sent a pair of aviators. Although you are unsure of the gift’s origin, you don the aviators. The environment takes on a rose-coloured hue and that’s how you meet the very first Dateable, Skylar Specs. Voiced by Felicia Day, Skylar tells you that your new purpose — as someone chronically alone and lonely — is to use the Dateviators to interact with the objects in your home to find something to date.
Though called Dateables, you have the option to date, befriend, or become enemies with any of the 100 characters. You are free to interact with a maximum of 5 objects a day, at which point you run out of Dateviator charges. Sleeping restores your charges and you are free to romance each character again. Date Everything! is fully voice acted with recognizable voice actors like Ashley Johnson, Laura Bailey, Matthew Mercer, and literally almost 100 more. Each of the Dateables has a unique character design and personality and all of them have their own back story, which you will learn as you speak with them. You can even help them with their unfinished business (referred to as unfurnished business within the game), if you so desire. As you complete an ending, you fill up your S.P.E.C.S meter, which stands for Smarts, Poise, Empathy, Charm, and Sass. Filling these stats unlock special dialogue you can select when interacting with a Dateable. You receive the same S.P.E.C.S points regardless of your ending, so there’s really no downside to accidentally (or intentionally) making a character hate you.
...your new purpose — as someone chronically alone and lonely — is to use the Dateviators to interact with the objects in your home to find something to date.
As a people pleaser at heart, I made it my mission to either befriend or date each object. Despite my best efforts, my stairs have decided that they hate me for putting an end to their multi-level marketing scheme. Unfortunately, my sink also hates me for telling him that he is, in fact, a sink and not an insurance adjuster cursed to become a sink. However, I am proud to say that I have successfully romanced (and slept with) my breaker box, my bed, and my vacuum cleaner. Luckily, there appears to be no limit to how many characters you can date concurrently, at the very least, none of the objects expressed concern at my many relationships. On top of my many in-game successful relationships, I was also able to woo my silverware: an overworked man named Daisuke. Daisuke’s storyline revolves around you accidentally hurting him and forcing him to take a step back from work. He learns to rely on those around him and realizes it is ok to ask for help. While most Dateables appear to be fairly humanoid, you do have a few oddballs here and there, like Dishy, your dishwasher, who is shaped more like the real appliance rather than a human person.
The Bright, poppy artstyle gives everything a fresh look.
There is a main storyline which is generally not something you can directly guide along. As far as I could tell, the events do not happen due to your input, happening instead at either random intervals or set days (unknown which). To avoid spoilers, I will omit the specifics of the plot from this review. However, there is no quest log in the traditional sense, as your smartphone, named Phoenicia, contains only a few apps which expand when you interact with it while wearing the Dateviators. There is an app that allows you to view what the game calls Roomers, which gives you hints or clues as to where you can find Dateables, while another app, the Date-A-Dex, gives you an index of every Dateable you have met and have yet to meet — along with your relationship status with each.
Since each Dateable has a unique storyline, it can be difficult to follow through with each character’s requests, especially when you are first starting out — It is very easy to get lost in the excitement of meeting new characters and seeing what the game has in store for you. If you’re the type of player that prefers structure and a little more guidance, you may struggle to find a good starting point. However, if you enjoy games with non-consequential actions, general shenanigans, and overall tomfoolery, you’d likely enjoy Date Everything as much as I did.
Dishy does not like being disconnected from the internet.
Verdict Date Everything! is a hilarious and endearing dating sim that’s packed full of great performances and memorable character designs. Sporting 100 romanceable objects, you’re never short on Dateables to fall in love (or hate) with. The loose story structure offers a lot of freedom in how you approach each day, placing the player in the driver’s seat in advancing each individual plotline, but also means players looking for a bit of guidance may be put off. If you’re looking for a light-hearted take on the genre, Date Everything! could be just what you need.  |
Image Credits: Eloise Crawford and Sassy Chap Games
Disclosure: We received a free review copy of this product from the publisher.
Comments